Feature: 50 Games That Defined This Generation, For Better & For Worse Part II
Today, we’re bringing you the 25 games the defined this generation for the wrong reasons. Games that made us pull out our hair with frustration, weep silently into our pillows and generally unhappy at the fact we used real money to purchase them.
If you’ve not yet read Part I, check it out here.
So, in no particular order here are the 25 games that are best left untouched:
25. Aliens: Colonial Marines (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
This one has brought about some controversy in recent weeks. Coming from the same team that brought us the fantastic Borderlands series we all had high hopes for Aliens: Colonial Marines. Over 5 years spent in development, we all thought it would be the megaton of fun at release. Instead we got a by-the-book shooter with outdated visuals, not the glorious game that was shown off in demos. (Read our review here)
24. Kinect Star Wars (Xbox 360)
As I said in Part I, Star Wars and video games have a troubled relationship and this is the peak. The idea was there, the conviction wasn’t. Waving your hands around hoping to look somewhat Jedi-like just made fools of us all, and let’s just forget the awful dancing game in which Han Solo loses all credibility…
23. Rogue Warrior (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
We’re used to our heroes being bad-ass foul mouths, but the game based on the exploits of Richard Marcinko is just a shambles. The grumbling voice of Mickey Rourke swearing his head off every 2 seconds is amusing at first, but after 10 minutes it just becomes tiresome and really showed that little thought was put in to the character. Couple that with dreadful gunplay, and you’ve got yourself a stinker.
22. Terminator Salvation (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
Movie tie-ins are usually bad, but Terminator Salvation takes the biscuits. Coming in at just under 3 hours long with boring and repetitive gameplay, not to mention the bland environments, Salvation does at least manage to bring the apocalypse to life in the fact it hurts to play. Avoid if you can.
21. Vampire Rain (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3)
If Twilight doesn’t make you want to do terrible things to innocent kittens, Vampire Rain will. Shamelessly ripping off other major franchises, implementing AI that comes across as ‘special’ and just plain boring gameplay puts Vampire Rain on this list. Don’t even mention the sequel. It didn’t deserve a first game, nevermind a second.
20. 007 Legends (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC, Wii U)
007 Legends is my personal steaming turd of this generation. Eurocom and Activision somehow managed to take Bond, tie him up, beat the cool out of him, then charge us actual money to play through this broken mess. Terrible visuals that wouldn’t have looked out-of-place 5 years ago, disjointed and pathetically written story sequences and the Activision motto of “COD it up” makes Bond a bitter pill to swallow. For a more enjoyable experience, try cyanide.
19. Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
Activision are at it again, bastardizing a beloved franchise and turning it into a bucket of manure. Family Guy is sometimes in poor taste, but that’s why we like it, but to shove this pile of crap at us and expect us to swallow, no way.
18. Wheelspin (Wii)
Wheelspin holds the title of ‘Worst Racer Ever.’ For good reason too. Cars handles like a shopping trolley with a wheel missing, track design was, to put it bluntly, retarded. You’ll find no fun in this one, even if you root around in the settings for a ‘Fun’ switch. For a more enjoyable experience, get a shopping trolley and get a friend to push you around in it.
17. Shellshock 2: Blood Trails (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
An army game set in Vietnam, sounds pretty standard. Oh yeah, there’s also zombies. Killing zombies has been a staple of this generation, and for the most part it’s always pretty fun, but Shellshock 2 is probably the exception. Zombies are dumb, but these bastards take it to a new level or thick in a story that barely scrapes 4 hours, controls that hurt to use and an overwhelming lack of fun.
16. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
This is a difficult one to place to be honest. On one hand it’s OK, but on the other, it’s a rip off and isn’t worth more than £10. The single player campaign was painfully short in comparison to previous titles, which were fairly short themselves (Call of Duty 1 however, you can easily get 10 hours in the single player.) It was basically a straight copy and paste of Modern Warfare 2, but represented the worst value for money in the series so far.
15. Halo 3: ODST (Xbox 360)
The expansion to Halo 3 provided little in the way of new experiences, instead it delivered blow after blow of boring, linear gameplay and a story worth forgetting, it’s hard to remember the details of short campaign and should have really been released as a DLC add-on.
14. Lair (PS3)
A big disappointment at release due in no small part to the over-hyping of the games graphical features. Sure it looked good, but the lousy controls made it hell to play. Maybe when we evolve to the point of having four hands and can use 4 controllers at once, this may just be playable.
13. Hour of Victory (Xbox 360, PC)
Another first-person shooter, another mess of a game. Since Call of Duty brought first-person army shooters back to life, everyone has been trying to get on the bandwagon with varying degrees of success. Hour of Victory take the point of a shooter and turns it on its head, delivering a steaming pile of digital turd that looks terrible, plays worse and has no replay value. In fact, there’s no reason to go through it just the one time.
12. Medal of Honor (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
EA’s attempt to bring Medal of Honor into the modern-day was met with yawns, unsurprisingly being compared to Call of Duty. Another shooting attempting to emulate the success of the modern military shooter falls short in battle thanks to a boring single player campaign and a sluggish online component that struggles to compete.
13. Bomberman: Act Zero (Xbox 360)
Bomberman is supposed to be small and cutesy with nice graphics and fun gameplay. Bomberman: Act Zero is the complete opposite, taking Bomberman from his roots and placing him in an ‘edgy’ setting just didn’t work.
12. Spider-Man 3 (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
Spider-Man 3 wasn’t the best film in the original trilogy, but the video game was. Instead of bringing Spidey into the next generation in style, Spider-Man 3 came blundering in, bouncing off the walls and getting stuck in its own webbing. Plasticky graphics, too many quick-time events and uber repetitive gameplay sank Spider-Man 3 into the murky depths of crap-games. It’s a shame, because Spider-Man 2 on the last generation was fantastic fun.
11. Balls of Fury (Wii)
The movie was likeable enough, though nothing stellar, but the video game was a lazy cash-in. Basically a mediocre ping-pong game with a movie license.
10. Crackdown 2 (Xbox 360)
Not the worst game ever, but definitely not a shade on its predecessor, Crackdown. Crackdown 2 just didn’t evolve as a sequel should, instead opting for the simplistic approach of putting a load of zombie mutants in the streets and calling it a day.
9. Too Human (Xbox 360)
Originally planned as a PlayStation 1 game, Too Human finally got released in 2008 and wasn’t well received. With possibly the stupidest decision ever made regarding controls, Too Human failed to hit the highs it aimed for. It now lives in bargain bins and sells for less than £5 on eBay, the mark of a true poo.
8. Far Cry Vengeance (Wii)
Ubisoft are well-known for providing thrilling gameplay with stellar graphics, though Far Cry Vengeance failed to nail the latter, resulting in a mediocre experience and tarnishing the reputation of the franchise. AI that didn’t know whether to shoot you or run away in fear, ugly environments and a lack of online multiplayer hurt us bad. Thankfully, the series didn’t die here and Far Cry 3 is showing what can be done with competent hardware.
7. Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified (PS Vita)
This is a no brainer, because it seems no brains went into it. Crappy AI, ugly graphics and a story mode than can be beaten in under an hour represent no value for money and it’s a disgrace that Activision are asking above top dollar for this train-wreck. Online multiplayer may be its one saving grace, if you can ever manage to get in a game, and when you do, you’ll find yourself in condensed maps, spawning in from of enemies and a lack of maps. (Read our review here.)
6. Angry Birds Trilogy (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii, 3DS)
It’s the same game you can get on your iPhone or Android smart phone for 69p, though for some reason Activision thought it’d be cool to charge £30. It’s not a bad game, but it’s not worth more than £5, and even that’s pushing it. Prime example of milking a popular franchise, something that Activision are experts on.
5. Turning Point: Fall of Liberty (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
It had some great ideas and a genuinely interesting concept: what would the world be like if the Nazi’s were winning? Unfortunately good ideas alone won’t get you far, you need the gameplay to back it up, something Turning Point: Fall of Liberty forgot.
4. Dead Space 3 (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
Deviating from the series’ horror-thriller roots has pissed people off big time. Chuck in some shady micro-transactions and you’ve made yourself a hated company. Well done EA, thanks for that.
3. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part I & II (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii, PC)
The boy wonder is back, but not in style. In an effort to make the game appeal to a wider audience Harry Potter is now a wizard soldier in a cover-based magic shooter. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds. Clumsy controls and repetitive spellcasting are anything but magical.
2. Tony Hawk: Ride (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii)
A shambles from the beginning requiring you to shell out big bucks for a dodgy peripheral that will most likely be spending more to in the shed than in the living room. Almost killing the series and ruining the reputation of the franchise, Tony Hawk: Ride was, in a word: crap.
1. Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust (PlayStation 3)
I don’t even know where to start, the buggy controls? The lack of fun? The poor graphics? The boring gameplay? Take your pick from those options, they’re all valid. Even Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified is better than this waste of disc.
There we have it, the 25 games that shouldn’t have seen the light of day, nevermind being paid for. If your favourite game is on this list, please, get help.
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What did you think? Any other games you’d like to declare an abomination to gaming? Let us know down in the comments.
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