TGC Review: Lego The Lord of The Rings (PS Vita)
Lego The Lord of The Rings is the latest big license to get the Lego treatment from Travellers Tales, with versions being made for the Playstation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS and Windows.
The version which we’re reviewing today is the Playstation Vita version, and as any of you regular readers know, I absolutely despise the Lego games on the Playstation Vita, and I’m only doing this review as a request, because I’m a top bloke.
Let’s go then…
What is it
It’s another Lego game, this time it’s The Lord of The Rings which gets turned into a world of blocks and bricks.
Following the story of the three Peter Jackson films, you take the characters on their quest to destroy the evil ring. Some parts have been altered from the source material, mainly to achieve a family friendly ESRB rating and sometimes to make a silly joke, which more often than not, fall flat on their face in the PS Vita version.
It’s terrible. I’m being completely and honestly truthful, if you want to waste your money, go and waste it on drugs &/or alcohol , it’ll feel better and even your hallucinations will have better value for money, both in graphics and entertainment.
The gameplay, as it is with all the PS Vita Lego games, has been ripped straight from the Nintendo 3DS version, albeit with slightly, and I mean that in the most liberal use of the word, slightly upgraded graphics, a few tacked on touchscreen features and they still want more than it cost’s for the 3DS version, which it is almost the exact same game.
The gameplay itself isn’t worthy of much either, trudging through the bland and compact environments fills you with nothing that resembles joy, but instead the urge to kick your own head for wasting money. Characters are clumsy and the hit detection is terrible, you can stand next to a breakable object and try hitting it a good 5-6 times before you yield any results. combat is also flawed, instead of the fun sword swinging of the console versions or even the PSP version of Lego Star Wars, we’re treated to slow and dull flailing of swords that resembles nothing of fun.
Of course there is the collecting coins, something that has remained a constant throughout the series, yet even the simple joy of bashing things to collect the Lego Studs is a bore and a chore, with the aforementioned terrible hit-detection, there’s just no fun to be had.
As mentioned before, they are a disgrace to be on the PS Vita’s beautiful screen. The PS Vita is a device capable of so much more. Uncharted: Golden Abyss, Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation, Need for Speed: Most Wanted and the upcoming Killzone: Mercenary are prime examples of what the PS Vita is capable of. Instead of producing the high quality the console is able to deliver, the developers opted to port the inferior Nintendo 3DS version.
So don’t expect the same fancy visuals as the Playstation 3 or Xbox 360 versions, even the Nintendo Wii version is better, plus it’s only £22.99 new in stores. Cut-scenes are also the biggest clue that Travellers Tales don’t care for customer satisfaction, only about how much money they can get off their unknowing customers. The cut-scenes are, quite frankly, shit. Utter shit. They look like they have been pulled from an old mobile phone, horrible. They are nothing short of shit to look at, to watch, to know about. The amount of effort made is obvious; there was none.
This is the part where the game excels, but even then it’s mediocre.
The sounds are pulled straight from the Nintendo 3DS, so they don’t sound the worst, but they could be better. You’ll often notice that sound effects lag behind your actions, more evidence of a poor port.
Other than that, there’s not much else.
I could recommend a thousand different ways to use your money more wisely, but I will only recommend one: do not hand over a penny to these lazy bastards until they sort their shit out and stop ripping customers off.
The game is a joke, it’s making a mockery of the PS Vita and it’s growing user base. Games like these are the reason I refuse to buy a game new until I’ve played a demo. If you do, despite all of my best intentions to warn you, decide to buy this game, or any other Lego game for that matter, please buy it used. Why should you and I support these lazy developers, if we keep handing over money for inferior products, we’ve only ourselves to blame when they churn out a rehash every week and charge a small fortune.
Do yourself a favour, forget Lego on the PS Vita. There’s a ton of better games that cost less, in fact, check out the PS Vita offers on right now, here.
Presentation: Good luck navigating through the menu’s, they are dirty and unworthy, as well as confusing. 3.0
Graphics: The PS Vita is capable of so much more, but this isn’t the game to show it. A terrible port with graphical glitches and cut-scenes that just scream “no effort!” 2.0
Sound: The mediocre is this games best strength, sadly. Sounds aren’t amazing but they are passable. 5.0
Gameplay: The reason we play games is for fun. The developers have not been told that, so they made it a frustrating, incompetent and highly repetitive slog of muddy environments and bland characters. 1.5
Lasting Appeal: If you, like me, are a smart person, this won’t last you an hour. The game is not worth playing once, nevermind playing through multiple times. 1.0
Overall: 2.5 – Put it back and walk away. Warn others of its evil.
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